Writing Tip: A Word on "That"

Once in a while I am called upon to edit or proofread a manuscript that makes a particular mistake with great frequency, and Im reminded to tell you all to avoid aforementioned mistake. Today I am helping to rescue an author who had difficulty knowing when to include or omit the ever-present but little-considered word that.

I refer to that not when used as a pronoun (That was a great party), adjective (I prefer that website), or adverb (He wasnt that fat). Usage in those cases is more straightforward, although the word can perhaps be replaced by a more interesting or descriptive one.

The more troublesome function of that is as a conjunction, usually introducing a subordinate clause. Its troublesome because in many cases, its perfectly acceptable to use that-and perfectly acceptable not to. You should be able to recognize when it makes a difference, and why.

Example:
"Peter told Paula that she looked beautiful."
"Peter told Paula she looked beautiful."

Economy of words being important to me, I would choose the latter sentence. It conveys the same information without being unclear. However, eliminating that can sometimes affect the clarity of a sentence, and while youre being your own editor, clarity should trump even the economy of words. When the clause being introduced follows a transitive verb, the introductory that can often prevent a misreading of the subject of the clause as the object of the verb, as in this example:

"She trusted that Ken had been faithful."
"She trusted Ken had been faithful."

In this case, go with the first sentence. Why? While the meaning of the second sentence will be clear to most readers by the time they arrive at the period, they will first find themselves reading this: She trusted Ken. And we dont want our readers to be confused for even the millisecond that it takes them to get from Ken to had. Because confusion creates distance.

This is another one of those little tricks you can use to address both wordiness and lack of clarity in your writing. Look for that when youre rewriting, and make sure its there when it should be and gone when its unnecessary. And that will be that.

Lisa Silverman is a freelance book editor and works in the copyediting department at one of New York's most prestigious literary publishing houses. She has also worked as a ghostwriter and a literary agent representing both book authors and screenwriters. She founded http://www.BeYourOwnEditor.com in order to provide writers with free advice on both writing and the publishing business.1 Kings 1
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